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Kingswood, Hull

Posted on: December 18th, 2011 by admin 3 Comments

I’m not here to say Kingswood is a chav hovel, because it isn’t. I’m here to say what a nice place it is, the houses are built to a good standard. The pathways are relatively clean (paths are never going to be spotless are they? ). The people who live there, including myself, are well educated hard working people ( the chavs don’t live here as the dole amount won’t cover the price to even rent on kingswood) the school , Kingswood college of arts (which is unfortunately on branshome (i’ll get to that in a min)) is still a hell of a lot better than winifred holtby. The shopping and lesuire area of kingswood is also better than anywhere else in the hell hole hole of hull. The only problem is, its located right next to bransholme(one of the uk’s largest council/chav estates) and is near to orchard park (hulls crackhead smack head hovel) the scum from these estates scuttle over here to kingswood. the adults in the day so they can wander around asda and dream tha one day they will get a bonus in their dole that will allow them to buy a packe of crips from there…and to look at all the good people of kingswood and think “i’ll smash their e’d in one day …think the’re be”er th’n uz doo th’y? ” (well sorry to say, mekenzie lee burberry piss head, but…..we are better than you) then on the night the little toe rags and spaw of the adults mentioned above scurry over to “ave eh ni’ht owt wiv th’ ladz” …on the swings in the local parks.
You see…the problem with kingswood isn’t kingswood itself…..it the fact that its located inbetween the scum of the earth……dont you feel sorry for us??
By: I’LL F***ING KILL YOU

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Margate – WHYYYY???

Posted on: December 18th, 2011 by admin 3 Comments

This is a true story

In the summer of 2011 me and a mate came up with the seemingly brilliant idea of going to Margate for the night. We both had fond memories of visiting margate from our childhood. The funfairs, the beach, the bumper cars, it seemed to make sense. However as we are both in our 20s we understood we may not be able appreciate funfairs and bumper cars but still the beach and perhaps nightlife would be a reason to go there, or so we thought. When we arrived, immedietly I noticed the atmosphere seemed different from my memories as a child. The funfair was non-existent, and the place seemed rather desolate. I parked the car and booked in at a B&B. A small family run B&B, the owners of arab descent offering shisha. Seemed like a decent start. I went up to my room and was surprised to see such dated curtains and the carpet had seen better days. The overall decor was like something from the early 80s, but then again I wouldn’t be in my room much so me and my mate shrugged this of and joked about it.
We wondered outside about 7pm to grab a bite to eat. On the way I couldnt help notice a group of people congregated near a bus stop drinking. A few metres on I saw another group in a corner drinking. Abit further down another group doing the same. This may seem normal as its a saturday but I could see that these were not warm up drinks to prepare for a night out as they were not dressed to go out. They also were not down and outs, nor were they teens. They were just drinking in groups, looking like they were drowning there sorrows. Further down I saw a girl about 7 playing by herself outside, with no parents in sight. Alarms bells started to ring for me, this wasn’t the margate I remember. Me and my mate grabbed some fish and chips which were not bad and excellently priced, so my faith was temporarily restored. We walked further down to the Weatherspoons only to find that there were hardly any people in there. This seemed strange for a saturday night. I went to the bar to get a drink and on my way back to my table a lady walked up to me and asked if she could join me. I said ok why not. Things were looking up. She had two mates with her so they made their way upstairs to where me and my mate were sitting. There was more light upstairs, this was not a good thing as they didn’t look so good in the light of day. But hey, its all about personality so we got talking. One of the girls bragged about living in hackney east london and how she moved her when she was 14. Her friend sat there with her leg draped on the table displaying a flowery tattoo which covered most of her leg. She seemed determined for us to see this tattoo as she kept her leg on the table the whole time. The third friend sat there in a mute-like state not uttering a word. This was not fun! My mate went to get a drink. We continued talking until the girl with the tattoo accused me of being boring. As I am black and dress a certain way I think she expected me to be the typical stereotype, which I am not. I told her she was weird and we engaged in a teen-like argument which involved her saying she is going to call her mates down to beat me up. I laughed this of and called her bluff welcoming all challengers (the bravado kicked in). After a few mins of this I decided to walk away and sit on another table, I didn’t come here for this. I stayed on for another hour with my mate then we left. As we walked out I could see and hear those lovely girls being loud and abrasive, jeering etc. I gave them a winning smile and walked out.
We then walked towards the main nightclub which appropriately was called Escape. It was boarded up and some locals told us its closed due to the recession. We asked them where we can go, they said go ramsgate (a neighbouring town) or kabuki (up the road). I asked which is better, they said there both shit. Decisions, decisions…. With that in mind we decided to walk towards kabuki. On the way we were greeted by two 40 something women (who looked to be in a drug induced state) growling at us. I replied “sorry what was that” She growled “CIGARETTE” I told I don’t have any. She and her friend ran off still shouting, what they were saying I will never know. We got to kabuki and it looked fairly lively despite being a small venue. We got a couple drinks but noticed the atmosphere was quite hostile. Being a londoner I’m accustomed to hostility when going out but did not expect this in margate. There was one character about 5ft 9, but a stocky bastard wearing a sleveless top, looked like he was in steroids. He was staring at me and my mate and everyone else and seemed to be out looking for trouble. Enough is enough… After an hour we decided to try the other “shit” option of Ramsgate. We jumped in the car, my mate still had his pint in hand as kabuki seems to let people walk out with bottles and pint glasses. Thankfully I was driving and not my mate.
Within 10-15 mins I was in Ramsgate. Ramsgate looked a bit more upmarket and had a nice river, canal area. We went to a bar there which as my reliable source said lived up to its billing as “shit”. At least the atmosphere was friendly so we had a couple there then left and went back to dreaded margate. As our hotel was there we had no choice but we contemplated getting our bags and getting the hell out of there, believe me. Here we go, back to Kabuki. My mate stayed in there but I had enough so I sat in my car listening to music. As I sat outside there was an almighty punch up spilling onto the streets outside kabuki. A couple of guys were eyeing up someones girl and a fistfight broke out with mates jumping in. One man was beaten real bad and another ran away. I called my mate and he was alright. I told him in know uncertain words “lets get the f**k out of here”. He came outside and we sat in the car contemplating our next move, its was about 2am. We had two choices, staying in that B&B and wait for daylight or hang around. I preferred the former but my mate went for the latter (between you and me, he’s insane). I drove up the road and saw two ladies with two guys, we pulled up and asked them where we can go for a drink. They said “theres a place up the road but its full of fuckin polish” (there words not mine), the girl then began swearing at one of the guys and tried to attack him, while the other girl was half lying on the bonnet of my car “what the f**k are you doing” I said. “get of my f**king car” I had about enough of this shit. One of the guys pulled her of my car and I sped of and could see them still arguing and fighting behind me. I looked at my mate and he was laughing his head off. As we neared the polish bar we saw that nutter in kabuki with the sleveless top. As we drove past he was staring at us again “what the f**k is wrong with this guy” says my mate, I said “do you wanna ask him or shall I”, neither of us wanted to ask him so we drove on. We were now outside the polish bar but I told him enough is enough I’m of to bed. We went back to the B&B and rang the bell, after about 15 mins they let us in. I was too tired to complain, I jus went to my room.
Morning came and we decided to quickly get a fry up and piss off back to london. There were not many options as almost every shop was boarded up so back to the Weatherspoons it is. We sat outside and tucked in to our food. A young man about 22 in a electric wheelchair saw us eating and took a shine to my drink. This man had a tube in his neck and didn’t speak. He gestured at my pint glass as if to say GIMME THAT. I didn’t know what to think. He then started shaking my table, he tried to grab my drink. I said “hey stop, its only apple juice” he then muttered a noise resembling “ohh”. He was no longer interested in my drink (perhaps mistaking it for beer). I again looked at my mate, this time he wasn’t laughing his head off. He looked back at me and said “lets get the f**k out of here”. That was all I needed to here. I knew it was time to leave, so on that note we left, never to return again.

By: Maz

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Bootle – The land that time and government forgot

Posted on: December 7th, 2011 by admin 3 Comments

Being born in Bootle I was always instilled with a hearty sense of distrust for government and in general the rich who are seemingly left to run this country.

As I was growing up it was de-facto agreed upon that I would vote labour to keep the tory bastards out of government. As I have grown up, I now see that all politicians are basically unconcerned with the suburban areas surrounding cities, and sefton (which includes Bootle, Litherland, Waterloo, Crosby, Netherton, Maghul, Formby, Southport etc) is as good an example of this as any.

I’m not going to sit on here and basically slag off the scal or ‘chav’ population of this borough – I think that’d be cowardly as well as pointless, but what I will say is our local area that stretches from Bootle to Southport is one of the most deprived in the country – surely?

For me the real crooks are the politicians who have seemingly made it their duty to royally f**k up everything in sight round here. No jobs, no culture, barely anywhere decent to get anything to eat – except for the Subway and McDonalds that litters (pun absolutely intended) Stanley Road.

Widescale re-development underpins the council’s aims, but as you take a stroll through any given area you are quick to find thousands of homes closed down, boarded up and desolate. Great! Kids and adults alike hang around scared of people who are slightly different than them, threatened by people who actually get on the number 52 bus into town to look for work, better prospects, or a ticket way the hell out of here.

I’ve spent quite some time in pubs round here, namely the Red Lion, the Merton, and the god-awful hellhole that was ‘Sullys’ (thank f**k it’s closed, half of it is now a Costa coffee – which is often still treated with suspicion and distrust) and every single one of them is a huge f**king shithole. My local ‘The Netherton’, (which is great for informal and unexpected school reunions) plays ABBA on the jukebox all Friday night, and is now completely teeming with small time coke dealers who hang around in the toilets drinking Stella asking if you’re ‘after anything lad’. One time I was in a taxi on the way home from town and I saw a huge trail of blood outside ‘Sullys’, I jumped out to see where the hell it had originated from, I found a bloke down an alleyway with his head caved in, a bottle of Peroni in his hand, desperately trying to find a lighter or match for his shittily rolled cigarette. He looked at me and asked if I had a light. I gave him 5 cigarettes and my lighter.

The cultural hub of the borough is undoubtedly the Strand. Here you can see 40 year old women who look 70 years old waiting in endless lines at Halifax, just itching for the chance to complain about the length of queues, the number of ‘poles’ who have ‘infested’ Liverpool, and still trying to smoke indoors. Shops numbered 5:1 in favour of ‘knock off boutiques’. The people who populate this barren wasteland of nothingness are some of the most strange, bizarre and downright frightening that England has to offer. Be careful as you zip past it on the bus, do not look any of the feral twats with overcoats on as they will sit next to you, stink the place up of piss, and chat to you about Snooker or Football or something else scousers are supposed to be interested in. There is not a shred of culture here – really, unless you count a GAME which is always full of little twats just playing Fifa12 on the Xbox 360 for free, until they are chased out, to which they often respond ‘c**t’ or something equally eloquent. There used to be a musiczone here, which I loved, and was in all honesty an escape from the totally shit, depressing surroundings – I used to spend hours every Saturday afternoon picking out a few CD’s with my £10 of pocket money. Looking back on it, I honestly think that without a passion for music, I would have long went mad or just sucumbed to the peer pressure and became a toothless fucker arguing about which of my 7 kids are cutest.

Bootle boasts quite a few names though, actor/poet/DJ Craig Charles, snooker player John Parrot, footballers Roy Evans, Steve McManaman, and Jamie Caragher, TV presenter Keith Chegwin, rock star Billy J. Kramer all hail from here. They were all part of a Bootle that was thriving and seething with righteous political anger – and now they’ve moved the f**k away, because it is shit. During the recent ‘England riots’, the city centre (and Toxteth in particular) seemed to just go mental for no reason, well they did it here in Bootle too. Some complete c**t drove a JCB digger into the local post office cash machine and got it stuck. Some of the people round her are that thick they can’t aim a 2 tonne building device to break a piece of metal. I weep.

It makes me sad to think that my family have accepted, and in a way CHOSEN this shithole as the place they want to live, I certainly don’t want to live here. I want to live somewhere good. It really is hell on Earth.
By: Craig

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Eastbourne – A gangsters view

Posted on: December 4th, 2011 by admin 1 Comment

Anybody reading this is about to enter the deep dark underbelly that is Eastbourne.

Eastbourne is rife with criminal activity including petty theft, loitering, littering and smoking in no smoking zones..!

Now Compare this with places like ”Rio De Janerio” in Brazil with its notable ”Favellas”. With their high crime rate, consisting of murder on a daily basis, gun battles between police and criminals, drug running and brutalised rape’. Eastbourne is obviously miles worse and if you cant see it then your an idiot.

Believe me im a big time gangster in Eastbourne and i conduct most of the above on a daily basis, its give mes eastbournes status as the N0.1 Gangster.

Crime Type Highest Levels

Violence Against a Person City of Westminster
Sexual Offences City of Westminster
Robbery Lambeth
Burglary Haringey
Theft of a Vehicle Barking & Dagenham
Theft from a Vehicle Newham

Regions with the Lowest Crime Rates

Violence Against a Person East Dorset
Sexual Offences Ribble Valley
Robbery Rutland
Burglary Alnwick
Theft of a Vehicle North Cornwall
Theft from a Vehicle Ceredigion

Did anybody notice that eastbourne dosent arrive in this ”uk statistics list”.

Now ask yourself the question ”why is this”

ANSWER: You obviously havent been reading this article properly, eastbourne is so corrupt the government is threatened into fabricating the truth because they are so scared, Believe me as eastbournes ”No1” im involved withe the threatening that goes on.

I was involved in one of my biggest ”gangster ops” missions last year when we threatened a local ”MP” with potato pealers (blunted incase we cut ourselves) and feather dusters covered in itching powder.

Anyway i must leave i just heard shots fired outside my window…and a potato pellet just fell into my lap, guna go mash the shooter up big time with my ”hulk smash” gloves….they dont leave no bruises..!

eastbournes no1

Billy Boi

By: Billy boi

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Chatham, Kent

Posted on: December 4th, 2011 by admin 2 Comments

to start off, the word chav basically originated from chatham, as in the ‘Chatham Chav’.
you think of kent as a nice place, and it is, and medway also has its nice areas (mostly in the countryside) .. chatham is a dive! walking through the high street you meet a variety of people ranging from the cast of The Only Way Is Essex and Vicky Pollard.
its quite fun to be honest, if your ever bored with nothing to do.. take a trip to chatham high street.. 10 year old mothers.. 90 year old crack heads.. and of course the usual nutcases that every town has. we even got hit by the riots.. they were not protesting anything they just got bored so they set wickes scrap bins on fire. The kids are anything from 7-29 and their all either smoking, drinking or pissing someone off, you feel vulnerable and intimidated.
You’ll get threatening looks from people when you get your purse or phone out, as if they’re going to jump on you.
I will never stereotype anybody from medway but some of the people who hang around in chatham are filth, you see them all hanging around outside the job centre half-cut or high as a kite, stealing from the shops from as young as 8. groups of people of any age purely out for a fight and not enough police to go around.
Medway can be lovely, ive lived in cliffe woods/cliffe and hoo all my life and its nice but chatham and gillingham are given us southerners a bad name.
By: chloe hughes

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