Canterbury

Posts Tagged ‘Canterbury’

Sturry and Hersden (Canterbury, Kent)

Posted on: August 13th, 2011 by admin No Comments

While Canterbury isn’t brilliant, it’s not too bad. A nice tourism industry, lots of friendly people. Maybe there’s a bit too many young ‘uns hanging round after school, but that’s because of the high amount of schools around the city centre. However, the estates in Sturry and Hersden are festering pits of unintelligent and violent little shits.

Sturry itself is fully equipped for a chav population: a large estate, a chippy and a few pubs. However, the chavs which populate this dung heap are barely a threat for most normal folk. The chavs are cowardly youths, who will not even start on anyone without outnumbering them 5-1, and violence is unlikely. Any small fights are ususally in the park, and consist of one group of chavs beating up an individual. The chippy and corner shops are friendly, and the service is fine, but at later hours become unavailable due to the sheer number of chavs wanting cheap food

Hersden is a different kettle of fish, where even the younger chavs will start fights to prove a point. Once, when i was a year 11 who went to school in Canterbury, i was threatened by a 12 year old on the bus to Hersden. While hilarious, this showcases the threat of the idiots and scum who live in the estates. In Hersden, there’s nothing to do, so most chavs just hang around the estates, waiting for someone they don’t like the look of.

Unfortunatly, inbetween both estates is a small, quiet and charming village called Westbere, almost entirely inhabitated by elderly people. The nearby lakes and fields have become a haven for activity, with bottles half-filled with alcohol strewn everywhere and the stench of smoke sticking in the air

By: Anonyamous

Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)

Posted on: November 29th, 2010 by Rattlehead 8 Comments

Yet if you were to take a trip to the town centre and look past all the historic buildings and occasional street performer and you would see the first signs of an infestation. Yes there is a McDonald’s, but there’s a McDonald’s nearly everywhere these days. There is also a pound shop, but there is a high student population in this city who must retreat to this shop to buy supplies from the meagre cash leftover from tuition fees and booze. Occasionally you would see a flash of the infamous Burberry ‘tartan’, or a retina-bursting brightly coloured shell suit, or a figure with a hoodie pulled over his baseball cap doing his best to look ‘well ‘ard’, or hear someone shout incoherently as their ‘pimped-out’ car rushes right past you at an insane speed.

This is the early stages of a chav infestation, focused mainly at the council estates at Sturry Road and London Road. On the A2050 there are two subways that run underneath it that several of my fellow students and I must go through in order to get to university or to the town centre. There you can see further evidence in the graffiti clumsily sprayed across the freshly painted white walls; freshly painted to cover up the previous graffit. There too, during the winter when the rain chases them away from hanging around the McDonald’s or TK Max, they congregate to hassle and taunt anyone unlucky enough to want to walk through. Believing themselves to be ‘well ‘ard’ in front of their ‘mates’ as they jump in front of passersby and gesticulate wildly as their atrophied muscles and cheap cider-dulled nerves struggle to interpret the orders from their enfeebled brain to do something approximating a dance, while chattering utter nonsense in their faux-black ‘gangsta’ slang.

There are not many chavs in Canterbury, the infestation is nowhere near as bad is say Romford in Essex or perhaps Maidstone in Kent. However, they are there, and they must be stopped.

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Chartham (Pronounced Char’am)

Posted on: October 7th, 2008 by admin 1 Comment

Well, reading through, i’ve noticed that both Canterbury & Ashford have both well afforded a mention. However, somewhere in the middle just off the main A28 is the “chav stop off” called Chartham, (Known by the locals as Char’am, with a kind of uhh in the middle).

I grew up in The Hyde. First few years were great, but then like any housing estate the chavs flocked to the waiting lists from miles around like flies to a cows arse, not to say that chavs are in anyway related to the flies, well maybe they are. Running the estate are the Junior Chav Posse (JCP), a group of 12 year old chavs, you can tell the different sexes only by the creoles that I think the female of the species wear and if you want to get the low down on whos getting laid by who, you can check out the chalk inscriptions under the archway between 20 & 21. Don’t loiter there too long, and if you need somewhere to hide form any chav parents, somewhat puzzled by the appearance of a stranger in the hood, you can take refuge in one of the many burned out cortinas or escorts in the back carpark (watch for chav stained needles and condoms)

There is a top end in the estate (the estate was built on a hill) and it seems the king chavs live up there and the peasant chavs lived at the bottom, I have to admit, I never had the courage to go up the so I can’t comment. But watch out for stray chav dogs, they used to be pitbulls but over the generations have been cross-bred with their owners, who knows what they are, and they will bite you and do off with any jewlery.

Out of the estate you head up Bolts Hill, I can’t believe developers tore down the white house, (a derelict 5 bed – painted white) this was a great hang out and kept around 20% of the JCP off the street at any one time, a notorious stop of for a shag and a joint.

What ever you do when you reach Shalmsford Street DO NOT cross over into Bobin Lodge Hill, it is rumoured that the oldest chav family in the uk live down there, nobody quite knows when they date back to.

Turn left up Shalmsford Street and you come to the Chav County Primary School, formally Stour Valley Secondary. It is said that this change from secondary to primary school came about by a secret annonimous protest of non-chavs lead by the local vicar, in an attempt to rid the village of teen chavs for 7 hours of the day.

At the top of Shalmsford Street is the former St Augustines Hospital, this psychiatic (mental) hospital was closed some years ago, releasing its inmates onto the streets of Chartham. Nobody quite knows what happened to this sudden surge on the population, some say they were all rounded up and dumped in Griffin Lakes (Owned again by Chavs), some say they simply intergrated into the chav population (and thrived, being of similar minds)

There are a few nice places to visit, the local w(rec)k is often quiet (on rainy days) as too is Shalmsford w(rec)k. St Marys’ Church is quiet from wednesday through to Saturday, Sunday to Tuesday you wont get past the religous gold clad chav mums queuing to sin for their chav kids and dogs misdeeds.

Infact if you find yourself driving down the A28 heading past Chartham, you are better off just keep on heading past, chances are there will be a 7 year old kiddie chav with a key that fits your car.

Top ten things to avoid if visiting Chartham:

10 Bakers Lane
9    Telephone Boxes
8    Anyone between the age of 2 and dead
7    Dogs that look as though they’re inbred with humans
6    Humans that look as though they’re inbred with dogs
5    Knives, Guns and Needles
4    The streets between 4 and 5 pm. School home time.
3    Top of The Hyde
2    Griffin Lake
1    Bobin Lodge Hill

And if you do find yourself in Chartham whether visiting, or you took a wrong turn……

………..Good Luck !!

and one further note, if you are heading Canterbury bound and manage to get through Chartham unscathed, do not stop in Thanington.

I often wonder if I am desitined to evolve and grow in a chav environment as I not live in Hailsham Sussexs’ Chav Central and the birthplace of the Chav. Check out this story http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=843

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