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Posts Tagged ‘property’

Tiverton

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I cannot believe tiverton is not on this list. It has more nutter and weirdos per square inch than london. Its a lovely picturesque town with nice features and lovely hanging baskets on every corner but the reality of this is that the hanging baskets are covering a few very strange smells about the town, at some times of year it smells like raw (and i mean very raw) sewage, i put this down to the unwashed, other times the odour takes on a more fishy smell, possibly the towns many slappers had their legs open at the same time.

There’s a chav on every corner, usually more than one asking for a spare fag or bus fare.  On a sunday morning any trip to the shops involves a slalom of various piles of vomit, dropped kebabs, curries etc and splatters of blood from various fights that have errupted the previous night.  On my return home from my friends one night i was walking down the road to find a massive rat dead in the middle of the road outside the local take aways, i suspect it died of food poisoning.  In short tiverton is great for an amusing visit to laugh at the local wildlife but more than a few hours stay and you will find yourself in some sort of unfortunate incident of an x files type nature.

By: moo shepherd

Gloucester

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Gloucester is truly the most horrific city you’ll ever visit. It is completely devoid of any hope or ambition. Most towns have a few bad areas but Gloucester has only bad areas, and the highlight of the city centre is Primark.

The residents are a lovely mix of unintelligible immigrants and fat, ugly chavs whose only occupation is to drink outside one of the many empty shops that blight the seagull infested streets. Though Gloucester has a beautiful cathedral, this only succeeds in highlighting the monstrosities that dominate the skyline, including the bus station, muti-storey car park, hospital and prison.

It really says something about the IQ of Gloucester residents when the only building they destroy during the riots was already earmarked for demolition.

 

By: Jack

Ashington, Northumberland

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Ashington is by far the chavviest town in Northumberland, every other car you seeon the road is either a chavved up Vauxhall (the chavs’ vehicle of choice) or a Motability car of some kind (Usually either a Zafira or a C4 Picasso), the aging Chavs’ vehicle of choice.  The town centre is a Greggs pastie filled hellhole which is a constant aroma of cigarette smoke.  Unemployable, tatooed half-wits lope around with their out of control, pastie eating kids, shouting and bellowing at them as they go.  This community used to be dependant on the Coal industry but has failed (probably due to too much coal dust in their brains) to adapt to the changes forced upon them by the 1980s closure of the mines.

Nearby Newbiggin by the sea is also a victim of this inbred way of life, which is a shame because it used to be a popular resort in victorian times…

By: Steve McGill

BEDFORD

This article has: 5 Comments

Imagine living in a perpetual state of fear and apprehension. Imagine every Lodis and Costcutter has a gang of 14-21 year old mixed race hoodies standing guard at the doors, making gun signs with their fingers, whilst showing the rear end of their boxer shorts to all and sundry. Imagine every walk down any pavement is an assault course of buggy’s loaded with LIDL’s bags, driven by angry (SO angry) faced ‘girls’ with a half smoked B&H (silver) dangling from there lips.

Welcome to Bedford.

From my second storey Bedford Bedroom I heard a live version of the ‘Jeremy Kyle’ show being played out for the benefit of me and my neighbours at 02:26, this morning.

Our principal players were Lewis, Aiden and an unnamed chavvy female. All were about 18.

Lewis (apparently) doesn’t care if his girlfriend ‘gets f**ked by some bald guy’ because she’s a ‘f**king WHOOOOOOOOORE!’. Aiden, meanwhile, is trying to calm Lewis down with ‘a burn’

Aiden doesn’t think ‘she should play him like that’ but she doesn’t think Lewis should’ve ‘done him in’ (does this mean murder!?) Apparently, Aiden tried his best to ‘hold him back’. *Lewis has exited stage left for a kebab*

No-name-chavvy-female has been left on her own to cry, as Aiden has followed Lewis to the kebab shop. (Gay liaison..? No.) Now the loud black men have gone, my neighbour shouts at her to ‘have some more respect’. She just weeps and suckles her WKD. (blue)…

This, or something like this happens every Thursday/Friday and Saturday. There are (usually) two men to every girl. Lot’s of throaty shouting. Slang terms I can barely figure out.

It’s never ending.

It’s hell.

By: CRAKE

Pontypool

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This is a marvellous little town situated in the South East Wales Valleys but is blighted by vermin known as ‘chavs’. Although it isn’t very hard to spot one of these creatures in the town, it is hard to say their hotspots as they like to hover around. However, my observations found that the best places to spot a chav is in the middle of town centre by Iceland and Wilko, the Jobcentre which is a short walk away from town centre, the bus stops by the council offices and Tesco.

There is a small area in Pontypool known as Trevethin where most of these creatures have settled. When you drive through this place, you look at it with disgust and begin to ask yourself why you are coming here. Some roads are somewhat quiet but there are others that are swarmed with chav children who ride around on their bikes wearing their classic attire, shouting in their retarded gangster accent and just being mischievous little things. If you’re unlucky enough to be in the area, you may encounter some verbal abuse from them and possibly further if you challenge them. Most of them like to chill outside the Spar asking those passing by to buy them cigarettes and alcohol as they are not old enough to go out and get it themselves.

You may also come across a bit of noise on your travels around Pontypool. This is the sound of the elder chav zooming around the place in a very old Citroen Saxo or similar with a big exhaust engine at the back (cause of the awful noise by the way!) with the car tricked out with bright colours or even lights underneath the car if they’re feeling extra creative! Be sure to cross the road with caution!

If anyone tells you that the South Wales Valleys is like the UK version of the Deep South in the USA, it is likely they are telling the truth. Pontypool is one of those places where everyone knows each other and know each other’s business (if you’re the type of person who likes their privacy, avoid this place at all costs!) Pontypool has been known for some inbred tendencies between families which is rather scary. Also, the teenage pregnancy rate in this area is very high. Some kids as young as 12 can be seen pushing their little brats in a pram.

 

By: welshchavhater